I dont know what to write. It's almost depressing. The first year I was signed to a high profile agency and made over $40,000. Every year since then its dropped, significantly. Yet, I'm still hanging onto a dream and I refuse to let it go. I know some will never understand. To them things are so serious. To me, I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing. I'm in no way throwing a pity party for myself, I'm laughing and smiling everyday. Playing volleyball at the beach, ok so thats the only other thing I can see myself doing. I believe it is the simple things in life that are so extraordinary. People run around so stressed looking for relaxation, but I've realized after years of being a head case, lol, that it doesnt help. Just like honking in traffic doesn't do anything, you move like an inch and yet you haven't moved at all.

I'll let you know what happens
JB

9/19/2010

wow, its been long time. it was slow there for awhile. since its picked back up i have had a lot of request castings. no job yet. still teaching on the weekends, and i recently got my new puppy. he's the man, makes me smile every morning.

JB

8/6/2010

Well its been an interesting week or so since I last talked to you. So interesting and fast that I woke up this morning and was confused on what day it was. I got pictures in from my latest shoot. They are in my book and up on the agency's website. I finally got half of my money from the commercial i did 3 months ago. That day was crazy. I had a casting in Hollywood, after that I drove to the agency in Beverly Hills and when I got there they told me that NY had sent the check via FedEx to my house. So I drove all the way back to Long Beach and nothing was here. I sat and waited for 2 hours and then finally my agent in LA says that NY just realized they sent it to the wrong address but it showed that someone had signed for it. So they quickly put a stop payment on it and reissued me a check the next day. A comedy of errors, I should have my own show. Luckily the new place where I am moving was very understanding and waited two more days to get their deposit. But once i got the check it was gone as fast as it took me to write the deposit slip.

Oh and here's the kicker my agency that represents me for runway jobs, dropped me. I woke up and checked my email this morning and there it was. Something about the economy being terrible and the accounting department asking all the agents to downsize the model board. I wanted to write back and tell them that the economy is no excuse. Its been shit for a couple years now, and we both know that since I've signed we've butted heads a few times. I mean this is the agency who after a month of being signed with them, asked me to walk for them because they wanted to know why I had not been booking any shows. Maybe it's because you haven't even sent me out on any castings! Hello! Also the same agency in which one of the bookers took me off a job because I don't have any makeup to do my own 'smokey eye' look. And when I got upset with her, she tells me not to give her attitude and her job is to meet the clients' needs. The clients' needs?? How about my needs? I am the model, I bring the money in, you wouldn't make money from a client if they dont book your models, Dumbass. And last but definitely not least, they accuse me of taking money. The accounting department fucks up and pays me twice for a job I had no idea until I was waiting to get paid for another job and then they decide to tell me. And my booker on that job didnt even tell me that the amount for one of those jobs I was to be paid for was less than what he originally told me. I guess they just beat me to the punch, I was going to drop them after this upcoming fashion season. If no jobs came this way then fuck them. Anyways, the weekend is here...I'll let you know what happens.

JB

7/30/2010

Well yesterday was quite interesting. In the morning I was sitting in my patio area waiting for the FedEx guy to deliver my check from NY when my cat walks up and he has this hole in the side of his neck! He's an outdoor cat so I'm sure it was from an attack, the funny thing was it didn't even look like it fased him. So I call the agency and ask them if I am actually getting a check and they said 'oh no, they sent it in the regular mail. it's too small of an amount to send it by FedEx.' wtf. So I get a bra on, some shoes and pack my cat up and run off to the vet. Poor little man, he was a trooper though. The doctor explains to me what they'll have to do, I leave him there and went to the gym. After my work out of cardio and weights I do my ab workout. I did 1,000 abs! Crazy I know, but it felt awesome. I get back home, watch some NatGeo TV, the vet calls...Cal is ready to come home. I get there, and while I wait for him to come out they hand me a bill of $262!!! I pay it, even though rent is due in two days, he comes out and has 10 stitches..maybe more, starting from the bottom of his ear down to his chest. They shaved the whole area, so he also has this drain tube sticking out of his chest and they put a cone on his head but when he woke up from the anesthesia he took it off. As they are telling me to try and keep it on him, I tell them 'look if he woke up from you guys knocking him out and took it off, then he won't keep it on at all.' So I get him home, make the bathroom cozy for him and then run out the door to work. I told my friend that has a baking company, I could start helping him again because I will be moving down the street soon =) After bagging and tagging his 2 huge deliveries I went to my other part time job to pet sit. It's nice working for your friends, they definitely work around my random ass schedule.

In the midst of all that, I received an email from my agent and phone call telling me that he had sent me a request casting for today and I am the only girl from our agency they want to see. I'm thinking great! My darker hair is working like a charm, but then I realize, the intern had not been in yet to post my new pictures on the website. They picked me as a blonde =/ So I email him and said 'hey, its awesome I'm the only gal they wanna see but do they not i'm not blonde??' He replies by saying 'haha, i sent it in the portfolio with a note by your name saying you are now a brunette...let me check, don't go anywhere tomorrow before you hear from me first.' I'm still waiting to hear from him. I think if they say they don't want to see me, then I think I will be telling him that until my pictures on the site are completely changed over, NO CASTINGS! I mean, Hello! Ok so I stopped just now to check my email, my agent got back to me, said that he sent the client two emails but has not heard back but I should go anyways. I told him that's cool, but dont they have a phone number....(rhetorical question) my casting sheet has a number to get a hold of the client, why do people email or text when they need an answer right away, wtf happened to picking up the phone and calling someone???? I mean, I dont mind going to a casting, but I don't want my agency's reputation to go sour, the client requests to see me, who they probably think is a blonde, I show up and I'm brunette. That looks bad on me and the agency. Whatever, that's enough for today...I'll let you know what happens.

JB

7/28/2010

It's the morning, well mid-morning, I'm having coffee and the whole house is open to let the sun shine in and the breeze come through. I'm waiting as patient as I can to receive an email from my agent saying there is a check for me to pick up. 3 weeks ago the NY office sent me an email telling me that the company I shot an online commercial for was sending the check the following week. Once they process it and get it signed they would send it my way. That was 3 weeks ago. I am getting an alaskan malamute the beginning of September and my landlord will not let me have dogs. She said something about a puppy having accidents, I have hardwood floors....wtf. So I have to move, she's giving me time to find a place and I found one but I dont have a check! I've emailed my agent once again, I can't have the new place waiting on me to be their tenant, that would not be fair. In 2 weeks it will be 3 months since I shot that commercial, thats how long they have to pay before its past due. Sometimes I get really tired of having to wait...one of these days I'm going to wake up to no car parked on the street....I'll let you know what happens.

JB

7/21/2010

Well, my agents love my new hair, that's a plus. Now to get them on the same page. One says to take all my pictures out and put only my new shots with my new hair color in. The other says to leave all the pictures in there along with my new ones so the client's can see that I know how to model. Yes, that makes sense but it also makes sense that it kinda looks funny having a portfolio with blonde and brunette hair. Like yesterday for instance, I went to downtown LA for a casting, as I was changing the photographer was looking at my book and asked if I was going back to blonde. As soon as I said no I could feel his hope go out the window. Oh well, the clothes were really tight on me so that would've been a long day of not eating till the shoot was over. =/

I am getting a check tomorrow, my agent said it was a small amount, but what is small to him could be huge to me. I am keeping my fingers crossed that its half of my commercial money. I emailed my landlord that in September I would be getting a puppy. Of course she said she doesn't want a puppy on the property because they cause accidents that can't be helped. I asked her what she was referring to considering I have all hardwood floors and a back yard.....weird. Today I have off, and its rather gloomy. Its one of those days where you just wanna sit and watch reruns of your favorite show or old movies. I'll probably do that for awhile then its off to take a look at a loft in the Mar Vista area. I'll let you know what happens.

JB

7/19/2010

It's been awhile, but I'm still here. I changed my hair color. I went from light to dark and I love it! Everyone does =) It was great timing, it has been slow with modeling, now I just need to get all new pictures in my book. Which I already got a head start on, and I'm still being sent out on castings, so we'll see. Today I had three castings, I made it to two. I woke up late, but 2 out of 3 is better than none. I have one tomorrow in downtown LA and then i think i'll hit the beach up and go on a run. I really need to get myself use to that run, soon I will have an alaskan malamute and these dogs need a lot of exercise....so that's good for me =) I might have to move, either tomorrow or the day after my landlord will be coming by to discuss with me about the dog. I told her I needed to know as soon as possible, because if I need to move then I need to get on the search. I'll let you know what happens.

JB